Liverpool vs Manchester United: As it happens (unless we wander off-topic)

It's only time for a minute-by-minute! Liverpool vs Manchester United, a match being played at a most curious point in the histories of both clubs, so let's tuck in and rubberify our necks, shall we?

Afternoon, whoever decides to pitch up here! It’ll soon be time for Liverpool vs Manchester United, a match which will naturally attract the interest the interest of rubberneckers worldwide. Liverpool are running clear at the top of the Premier League table under Arne Slot, while Manchester United dare now just six points above the relegation places after yesterday’s results.

Has this match ever been played with a bigger gap between the two teams? Well yes, it has, actually, and a couple of times. When Liverpool beat them 2-1 at Anfield on the 18th March 1990, United were 16th in the First Division and two points above the relegation places while Liverpool were second, behind Aston Villa. On the 22nd December 1973, United were 19th while Liverpool were again second, this time behind Leeds United.

But that was then, and this is now. Football is a very different game nowadays. The parameters by which we gauge success have changed, very much indeed. The financial gulf between the richest and poorest has never been greater, and perpetual success is demanded at the richest. Well, apart from Spurs, obviously. And Manchester United have plumbed new depths, this last few weeks. They’re not quite in a relegation battle yet, but they’re on the cusp of one, and all under day-to-day management, too.

Liverpool have been excellent this season. Precise and focussed, they may just be the best team in Europe at the moment, and that, naturally means that I’ve barely written anything about them all season. It all reminds me of a forum post I once saw about blogs and Twohundredpercent came up. The supporter of somebody or other posted, “Huh, well I’ve not seen anything about [whoever their team it was] on there”, and someone replied, “That’s a good thing. If you never appear on there, it means that your club’s probably doing alright. If you’re on there once a week or more, it means you’re in trouble”.

So yeah, Manchester United have been covered on here more than practically anyone else because essentially it’s football’s greatest soap opera. But in soap operas there can be ups as well as downs, so what’s their silver lining? Okay, well, their recent record against Liverpool isn’t absolutely dreadful. They’ve only lost one of their last four against them, and they beat them in the FA Cup in March. And it does seem to be true that United raise their game for these bigger matches, as though some sort of collective muscle memory is kicking briefly into action.

Anyway, here’s the teams:

Manchester United: Onana; de Ligt, Maguire, Martinez; Mazraoui, Fernandes, Ugarte, Dalot; Amad, Mainoo; Hojlund.

Subs: Bayindir, Malacia, Casemiro, Yoro, Collyer, Eriksen, Antony, Garnacho, Zirkzee.

Liverpool: Alisson; Alexander-Arnold, Konate, van Dijk, Robertson; Mac Allister, Gravenberch; Salah, Jones, Gakpo; Diaz.

Subs: Kelleher, Endo, Nunez, Chiesa, Elliott, Jota, Tsimikas, Quansah, Bradley.

Okay, so let’s all agree that the best possible outcome will be the funniest. But this could come in many different varieties and it should be added that it had in the past not been uncommon for this to actually turn out to be a dreadful fixture. But I’ll be back just before about 4.30, hope you will be too!

***

4.25: Oh, here they come then. It looks absolutely horrible at Anfield this afternoon. I can’t quite make out whether it’s just sheets of rain or sleet, but it looks absolutely dreadful out, up there. I mean, it’s not exactly grand, here, but it’s nothing on that. Manchester United are dressed all in black. I know, I know.

4.30: Off they go, then. Manchester United are in all-white, not all black. I was basing that off the Sky graphic. Wonder why they did that? A comment on the state of them at the moment? Who knows?

4.35: Nothing of note in the first five minutes, other than Kobbie Mainoo getting clonked on the noggin and having treatment which took up about half of it.

4.40: Umm, still nothing to report. Is this going to be one of those?

4.45: First real chances of the game to Liverpool, who break on the right. Trent Alexander-Arnold’s angled shot from the edge of the penalty area is charged down, and then Luis Diaz blazes the ball over the crossbar.

Barely twenty seconds later Gakpo is put through but he has to stretch to reach it and his flick rolls just wide of the far post.

And as if that isn’t enough, Salah crosses in from th right and Alexis Mac Allister’s low shot is well saved by Andre Onana. I was just about to praise Manchester United for their first ten minutes, too, but the whites of their eyes were clearly visible, there.

4.48: A minute’s applause from the supporters for Max Greenhouse.

4.50: A chance for Manchester United! A cross from the left is looking for Amad in the middle, but it’s just an inch or two behind him, which results in him doing something that looks more like a defensive clearance than a shot on goal. Amad needs attention after clattering into Alisson as he slides towards the goal, with the ball heading in the opposite direction.

4.55: A quick doff of the cap, by the way, to the Sport for their story that Elon Musk is being urged to buy Liverpool, which is actually the sort of trolling that we can and should all get behind, especially as it seems to have fooled absolute wazzocks like this lot.

5.00: Gravenberch carries the ball forward from the edge of the centre circle and shoots wide. I guess the highest compliment I can pay Manchester United is that Liverpool have only really looked threatening in fits and starts so far. There was that barmy couple of minutes and that one long-range shot, but really Liverpool and have been kept at arm’s length so far, he types, as Liverpool win a corner.

5.05: A couple of stern but fair challenges in the centre of the pitch seem to indicate that Manchester United are picking up that tingling feeling that they’re Manchester Fucking United again. Wonder how long that’ll last?

5.10: It feels as though there’s a real tension starting to build around Anfield. It feels…tetchy. The tackles referenced above were followed by the crowd really launching into a wall of noise, but it fell away again and the crowd are starting to get on their backs, a little.

5.12: Best chance of the half so far! Hojlund gets benind the Liverpool defence on the left but Alisson blocks the shot. It is, in all honesty, a pretty poor finish, straight at the goalkeeper, and bouncing off his shoulder. Bruno Fernandes fires in the rebound but it’s blocked.

5.15: There will be a minimum of two minutes added time.

5.17: Half-Time: Liverpool 0-0 Manchester United and there’s little doubt over who will be the happier as the teams get back to their changing rooms. Manchester United have been… okay, and Liverpool really haven’t been on it, other than a couple of minutes early on where they created about three chances in two minutes. All to play for in the second half, and United might just fancy this now. Back in 15 minutes!

5.35: And we’re back off! Liverpool shooting towards the Kop in the second half.

5.40: A lively first five minutes to the second half, and Manchester United have Liverpool pinned back inside their own half again. The early signs are that what was said in the home changing room at half-time hasn’t had much of an impact.

5.41: Goal! Liverpool 0-1 Manchester United! You can hardly say that they don’t deserve it! Alexander-Arnold’s pass out of defence is a disaster, and the ball ends up with Fernandes, who flicks the ball through for Lisandro to thrash the ball in off the underside of the crossbar. It’s their first goal here in six years!

5.45: This is a really bad time to be having a bad day, Liverpool. We’re now ten minutes into the second half and anybody who knows how the narrative of football matches ebbs and flows will be feeling the same way, that this game is slipping away from the home team.

5.47: Goal! Liverpool 1-1 Manchester United! Well, it was running away from Liverpool! Gakpo is released down the left, Billy Wrights De Ligt, cuts inside and drives the ball into the roof of the goal. There’s a bit of a delay as the robo-ref casts its beady eye over anything that might have been considered fun, but eventually given. So, how will United—who have been playing well—react?

5.50: The goals seem to have opened the game up a little. Both are going at each other a bit more than they had been previously. Ugarte excellently blocks a throughball on the halfway line which might have let in Gakpo, while Konate’s excellent header deflects a United cross away. De Ligt goes into the book. The crowd has picked up with the the equalising goal, as well.

5.55: Twenty minutes into the second half, what’s crucial now is how brittle Manchester United’s confidence turns out to be. Liverpool have been off their game all afternoon. They are beatable today. But Manchester United have been in rotten form and it would be folly to assume that any confidence will last.

5.56: PENALTY TO LIVERPOOL! Mac Allister’s flicked header strikes De Ligt’s raised arm. Play goes on but the ROBO REF SEES ALL and referee Michael Oliver is asked to go look at it, looks at it, and gives the penalty!

5.59: Goal! Liverpool 2-1 Manchester United! Mo Salah converts the penalty, though I do wonder a little whether Onana might have done a little better with it, it did seem to pass straight across him, hitting his gloves on the way. But anyway, never mind. Liverpool lead 2-1 and the colour is draining from Manchester United as we watch.

6.02: Big chance for Liverpool with a free-kick on the edge of the D, just outside the edge of the Manchester United penalty area, but Salah lifts the ball a foot over the crossbar.

6.09: Goal! Liverpool 2-2 Manchester United! It’s down the right again and pulled back by Garnacho for Amad to roll the ball in and bring United level again! There were six Liverpool defenders and two United strikers in the penalty area as that ball came across, but the Liverpool defenders were all pulled out of position at the same time.

6.15: Alexander-Arnold goes into the book. United bring Leny Yoro on for De Ligt. Liverpool’s high line makes United look dangerous every time they have half a chance of breaking across the halfway line. Five minutes plus stoppage-time to play, and Liverpool make a double substitution. Elliott on for Gakpo, while Bradley replaces Alexander-Arnold. Zirkzee replaces Hojlund for United while they’re about it.

6.18: A low shot from Fernandes is siplled by Alisson, who may be slightly relieved to see the ball roll wide. United can’t make anything from the resulting corner and scramble. Liverpool break to the other end, a shot is blocked by Onana and a sidefooter from a very narrow angle forces the goalkeeper to palm behind. From the resulting cornerm Van Dijk’s flicked header is comfortably saved. Seven minutes of stoppage-time.

6.23: Salah’s shot is deflected behind for a corner. We’re well into the realms of “anyone could win this now”. The corner is cleared reasonably comfortably, but Liverpool have the intiative again and are keeping possession. Jota runs forward but his shot is charged down.

6.26: ARRRRRGH! United break down the right, and Zirkzee pulls the ball back to twelve yards out and just the man you want there - it’s Harry Maguire, who belts it over!

6.27: FULL-TIME! LIVERPOOL 2-2 MANCHESTER UNITED!

Well, that took a while to get going, but ended up as quite a dramatic afternoon, didn’t it? Liverpool were off-colour for much of that match, it has to be said. There was a spell at the start of the second half when they did look like they’d only just been introduced to each other in the tunnel before they came out.

But they came back well and looked as though they’d done enough, only for Manchester United to come back again and damn nearly won it at the end. They put in a performance as good as the one that they managed against Manchester City a few weeks ago; so, why can’t they replicate this more often? What a profoundly strange football club they are.

Player of the Match for me was probably Amad Diallo, not that this really means anything, but anyhoo. Manchester United are seven points above the drop and Liverpool’s rivals at the top of the table will be breathing a sigh of relief that they didn’t go even further ahead at the top of the table. Right. Time for me to get the kids’ dinner on. It’s been fun! Same time again soon?

The accompanying image file is made available through Wiki Commons under the Creative Commons CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication.