Spurs versus Manchester United: Who's the Worst?
There's not been much between these two falling giants this season and on this occasion Spurs edged the win. But honestly, this looked like what it was: 14th versus 15th in the Premier League.
I’ve been paying close attention to Manchester United and Tottenham Hotspur more than any other clubs this season. In the case of the latter, it’s partly because I support them, though I do suspect that I’d be taking a Professor Desmond Morris-esque interest in them even if I didn’t. In the case of the former, it’s because the story of that club has essentially become a long-running soap opera with a cast of characters that really would have done Coronation Street proud, during its prime.
So, what are we to expect when this stoppable force meets this highly movable object, then? Seldom before in recent years had I approached a top level football match with such grim fascination. What could they manage between them? Might a giant sinkhole just open up and swallow them both whole? Could it actually be the case that there is a curse on the words “glory” and “glory”? Can two teams both lose a football match at the same time? It’s important to keep an open mind at such times, and though most would baulk at breaking the laws of physics, perhaps this might be a time for it to happen.
The two teams look very different to each other, in terms of their shortcomings. With United, it just feels at times as though you can’t quite trust where the ball is going to go once it leaves the players’ feet, and I think we can all agree that this is a sub-optimal state of affairs for a top level football team.
None of this has been helped by their ever-increasing injury list. Lisandro Martinez, Luke Shaw, Manuel Ugarte, Mason Mount, Altay Bayindir, Amad Diallo, Kobbie Mainoo and Jonny Evans were all missing from the squad, meaning that United’s bench was very academy-oriented, with only Victor Lindelhof sticking out—like a sore thumb—among those listed, one of whom was Darren Fletcher’s son, for God’s sake.
Spurs, on the other hand, are brittle and skittish. It feels as though they’re made entirely of glitter at times, and you can never quite feel completely comfortable in their presence. Supporting Spurs has really had a strange effect on me. When James Maddison’s 13th minute goal swept them into the lead, the knot in my stomach only really tightened further. Whatever outcome the universe has decided for a football match only feels all the shakier when it introduces those old fiends Falsehopingham Hotspur into proceedings. No team knows quite how to throw away a comfortable position like this lot. Spurs taking the lead means nothing to me, these days.
Barely three minutes earlier, United had brought a double save out of Guglielmo Vicario. It’s reasonable to also mention that one of United’s current issues was the cause of it; Andre Onana again flapping at a shot from Lucas Bergvall and pushing it back out into the path of Maddison. Midway through the half, eight yards out, and with the Spurs central defender nowhere to be seen, Alejandro Garnacho blazed the ball over the crossbar as though he was trying to get the damn thing as far away from him as possible.
The second half was tighter but looser. It was really difficult to avoid the conclusion that these were simply two not very good football teams. There were chances and half-chances at either end, but even throughout the closing stages United kept simply giving the ball to Spurs. Indeed, from a Tottenham perspective, the closing ten minutes plus stoppage-time were almost entirely unnerve-wracking because United were just so terrible in possession, repeatedly giving the ball back to their opponents for no particularly good reason whatsoever.
By the end of the match, everybody had just about seen enough. The addition of three minutes of stoppage-time at the very end was a reflection of this, essentially acknowledging that these two could probably keep going at each other for another hour without scoring. Spurs won a corner a minute into this additional three and tried to keep possession of the ball. They lasted eight seconds, but it only took another seven seconds for another attempt to link play up between the United defence and midfield led to the ball ending up back in their hands.
The scale of the Spurs decline this season is almost difficult to get your head round. This was their first home win in the League since they beat Aston Villa on the first Sunday in September. They’d fallen to 15th place in the table, and at one point they were only seven points above the relegation places. This match saw the return of a clutch of injured players. This may have been scrappy, but two wins in a row is at least still something to build upon. There were protests against the club’s owners both before and after the match, but for all the club’s obvious structural problems, at least they’ve started winning football matches again.
As for Manchester United, the song remains the same. More redundancies. More atrophy on the pitch. They’re now 15th in the Premier League. The twelve-point gap which already exists between them and the bottom three makes it already pretty much a done deal that they won’t get relegated this season, but it should be perfectly obvious that ‘avoiding relegation’ is setting a bar so low that any United supporters giving it creedence as a consolation will probably be doing so with some feeling of embarrassment. Spurs aren’t very good at the moment. United barely really landed a blow upon them this afternoon.
How does this change? Spurs are improving. Not that much, but they are at least starting to win matches again. They’re getting players back from injury and it doesn’t seem that they’ve just any today. They’re up to 12th in the table, and a top half finish is far from beyond them. The institutional problems are very much as they were at kick-off, but we can probably all agree that winning football matches is worse than losing them. Manchester United were weak and tepid, and allowed Spurs, a team with a defence made of rice paper, to defend fairly comfortably against them for 80 minutes.
Put simply, these were two not especially good football teams. 14th versus 15th at kick-off, and 12th versus 15th by the end, and that’s what it looked like. And in a sense, that’s fine. Clubs can have off seasons. Chelsea finished 10th in 2016 and won the Premier League the next season. Some would even say that these long dark nights of the soul are ‘character building’.
The problem for Spurs and Manchester United is that neither of them look as though substantive change is coming. Spurs have been sliding in this direction for five years. United have been meandering this way, coming back ever so slightly, and then continuing on their merry way for more than a decade. At neither club is there much indication that much is going to change. The winter of discontent will soon be turning to spring, and there’s nothing that anyone seems able to do.
There’ll be a new weekly piece on here every Wednesday from now on for paying subscribers covering something relating to Tottenham Hotspur. This week: Levy out? Okay then, but who’s replacing ENIC and how is that better?