The Europa League Semi-Finals: FK Bodø/Glimt vs Tottenham Hotspur Liveblog

It's that time again. Come one come all, as Spurs head to Arctic Circle for a second leg in which they have a decent - but absolutely not unsurmountable - lead to defend.

It’s… overlong preamble time!

Good evening wastrels, barflies, gadabouts and the otherwise morally questionable, and welcome to the liveblog for this evening’s Europa League semi-final second leg between FK Bodø/Glimt and Tottenham Hotspur. Spurs have headed 95 miles north of the Arctic Circle for this one, to play the first Norwegian club to ever reach the semi-finals of a European competition.

As those of you who frequent these things will already be aware, I don’t do first legs of European competitions. I hate that feeling of getting to the end of a football match and thinking, “oh, we’re only at half-time really.” For reasons that probably say more about my fragile psyche than anything else, I hate that feeling. I feel like I’m having my time wasted, and I really hate that feeling.

I wrote a preview of this match for Fotmob earlier this week. No, I wasn’t aware at the time that Lucas Bergvall has also got himself injured. I did check and double-check, but I didn’t see it. I’m still angry about it now. (Let the record show that I also wrote their preview of the other match tonight between Athletic Bilbao, a match which I fully expect to pass off without any significant drama; I’ll try to stay up-to-date with what’s going on there, but no promises.)

So, what about that first leg, then? Spurs won 3-1 and looked pretty comfortable, but it was pure Ohdoyouhavetoingtham Hotspur to unnecessarily concede a late goal to introduce a little jeopardy into tonight’s proceedings. Everything was just getting a little bit comfortable, and we can’t have Spurs supporters not trying to get through their day without something pecking at their angst like a furious woodpecker, can we?

But what about this return leg, then? The home side should be up for this. A summer league is played in the Norwegian Eliteserien, so they’ve only played four games, but were they to win those that they’ve got in hand over those above them in the league, they’d go top. In this competition, their most impressive single result came in their first match, when they beat Porto 3-1. They’ve also beaten Sporting Braga, Beşiktaş, Maccabi Tel Aviv, FC Twente, Olympiacos and Lazio this season to get this far.

And what about Bodø itself? Firstly, it’s pronounced “Boo-duh” and not “Boe-Doe”, so let’s get that thought right out of our heads. Otherwise, it’s a town of 42,000 people in the north of Norway. They’re not the northernmost club in the Eliteserien—that honour belongs to Tromso—but they’re still 855km as the crow flies, or 1,179km by road, from Oslo. Even going by the shorter of those two distances, that’s as far from Oslo as I am from Milan right now. And yes, I am in Worthing, as I will be until the day I die.

It’s a long way north. I mean, good lord:

For those of you who wonder about such things, it’ll be colder there than here, but they won’t be playing on top of six feet of snow in front of stands packed with polar bears. The average temperature there at this time of year is between 4.9°c and 10.5°c. The record temperature ever recorded there, for the record, was 24.5°c. Of course, this match will be kicking off at 9pm local time so it will be colder; the forecast suggests light rain and a temperature of 6°c.

Otherwise, it’s the home of Norway’s only police academy—they should, of course, have a centre-back called Hightower but the universe hates me at the moment so that’s not happening—the country’s biggest shopping mall, and it’s home to the main campus of Nord University and 12,000 students. It was also home to the Bodø affair, a diplomatic scandal between Sweden-Norway (then a dual monarchy) and the United Kingdom concerning contraband being smuggled into the country.

It lasted from 1818 to 1821 and ultimately led to a lasting distrust among Norwegians of the Swedish foreign ministry over the notion that they were more favorable to British interests than those of Norway (the Norwegians presumably already distrusted the British), though this union wasn’t formally dissolved until more than eighty years later, in 1905. Six years after this dissolution, by the way, Roald Amundsen became the first person to reach the South Pole.

Of course, it wouldn’t a match between Norway and England in qualification for the 1982 World Cup finals. It was a different world, then. Norway hadn’t qualified for the World Cup since 1938, and in addition to that Norwegian television broadcast live matches from England every Saturday afternoon, so the game between the two at the Ullevaal Stadion in Oslo was already an event before it started, and at full-time the Norwegian commentator Bjørge Lillelien had, well, a bit of a moment:

And here’s a translation into English, for anyone whose Norwegian is a little rusty:

We are the best in the world! We are the best in the world! We have beaten England 2-1 in football! It is completely unbelievable! We have beaten England! England! Birthplace of giants! Lord Nelson, Lord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana—we have beaten them all! We have beaten them all!

Maggie Thatcher can you hear me? Maggie Thatcher, I have a message for you in the middle of the election campaign! I have a message for you! We have knocked England out of the football World Cup! Maggie Thatcher, as they say in your language in the boxing bars around Madison Square Garden in New York: Your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!

It was worth taking that beating, for this monumental piece of commentary. Lillelien sadly died in 1987 from cancer, but his legacy is a hugely valuable piece of the cultural legacy of football in this country too. Bjørge, our boys really did take a hell of a beating. (Norway ended up not reaching the World Cup finals while England did but stank the place from their second game on. Some things never really change.)

And let’s face it, Spurs playing 95 miles north of Arctic Circle on an artificial pitch in front of a crowd of 8,000 hollering Norwegians really does feel like an accident waiting to happen, doesn’t it? There are realities which have to be taken into account, here. Spurs have much more money than their opponents, and in theory much better players. And while they have been almost uniformly dreadful in the Premier League for about the last six months, they should be able to defend a two-goal lead here. Should. Should.

Join me back here at 7.30 for some team news, with kick-off at 8. It’d be lovely to see you here!

7.30: Good evening, good evening. You’ll be unsurprised to hear that I don’t have much enthusiasm for this, but here we go anyway. Spurs are 90 minutes from the Europa League final, which sounds even more absurd in this day and age that thinking “Spurs are in the Champions League final” in 2019. Anyway, here’s tonight’s teams:

Bodø/Glimt: Haikin, Sjovold, Moe, Gundersen, Bjorkan, Evjen, Berg, Saltnes, Blomberg, Hogh, Hauge. Substitutes: Lund, Nielsen, Auklend, Fet, Helmersen, Maatta, Sorli, Bro Hansen, Kjaer.

Tottenham Hotspur: Vicario, Porro, Romero, van de Ven, Udogie, Kulusevski, Bissouma, Bentancur, Johnson, Solanke, Richarlison. Substitutes: Danso, Tel, Gray, Spence, Odobert, Sarr, Davies, Austin, Whiteman.

James Maddison and Lucas Bergvall noticeably missing for Spurs. Heung-min Son fails to make the cut, but Dominic Solanke starts. Bodø/Glimt are bringing back a clutch of players who missed the first leg through suspension.

7.40: The elephant wearing the clown’s make-up in the room is the possibilty of a Spurs vs Manchester United cup final. I don’t think there’s ever been one before; certainly not one that Spurs have won. But I don’t know whether to get all hand-wringy about it on account of what it says about the absolute state of European club football that these two should have any chance of winning anything whatsoever, or just accept it as a coming together of the Premier League’s two most enduring soap operas of the last few years. It doesn’t feel a lot like the behaviour of a just universe.

7.45: It was either this or a speedball:

7.50: They’re turning a fire hose on the pitch at the Aspmyra Stadion, presumably because they prefer the surface to be slicker and less like grass. I was just about to run a little ‘who’s going to be the first to slip over’ competition but quickly realised that the only reasonable answer is, ‘could be any of them’.

7.57: Here come the teams! Heeeeerrrrrrre come the teams! Bodø/Glimt are in yellow and black, and Spurs are in their (what I believe to be) cursed green away kit (I get this feeling of curse even stronger from the double-denim third kit, but I still think this is a terrible one). There’s a lot of smoke, but all the fireworks and all the clapping does give it a bit of a 'barn dance’ vibe. If you’re Spurs-oriented and after an omen, Spurs were wearing a terrible kit in Amsterdam six years ago.

8.00: With the row of houses behind one goal, it al looks a bit like Worthing’s ground, this. And of course, it’s still light because they’re so close to the North bleedin’ Pole. Anyway, we kick off. Spurs shooting right to left in the first half.

8.05: Richarlison has a shot blocked from the left hand side of the penalty area which is charged down, but it’s a chance within the first couple of minutes and Bodø/Glimt should be alarmed at how much space he had. 404 Spurs fans have tickets for this game, we’re told. The stadium has a capacity of 8,270, by the way.

8.10: Seven minutes in and Bodø/Glimt have their first corner of the game, which is swung over and Berg at the far post shoots into the side-netting.

8.15: It’s all been a bit cagey. Spurs look fairly well set up defensively, though this doesn’t preclude one of them at some point and for no good reason panicking and trying to run in four directions at the same time. Bodø/Glimt are limited but comfortable in possession. Their head coach Kjetil Knutsen has got a hint of the Jamie Carraghers about him, as an aside.

8.17: Chance for Spurs! Destiny Udogie is released on the left-hand side and his low shot is palmed away by the goalkeeper. Both Spurs chances coming on that side of the pitch. (Actually, the replay shows it as more of a cross which was pushed away, albeit with Dominic Solanke sliding in behind him.)

8.23: (I should point out that I am casting this to the TV from my phone and that I have no idea how far behind I am running with actual events. Spurs win a free-kick on the edge of the Bodø/Glimt penalty area. Could have done with James Maddison for this. Or Lucas Bergvall, I’d have thought.

8.24: Porro gets his shor over the wall and that’s an excellent save from Haikin, in the Bodø/Glimt goal. The corner flashes across the six-yard box but there isn’t anyone there to get on the end of it.

8.30: There really isn’t that much happening, bar a pretty sustained round of booing over perceived Spurs time-wasting. The persistent clapping has at least finally stopped, but you do pick up a little frustration from Bodø/Glimt at how little they’ve created in the first half hour or so.

8.31: I haven’t heard anything yet from Old Trafford, where it’s 0-0 and presumably Harry Maguire hasn’t got his head stuck in a letterbox or anything yet.

8.33: Bodø/Glimt win a free-kick on the right hand side of the Spurs penalty area. Berg takes it, but Vicario pushes the ball away for a corner, which comes to nothing.

OH HANG ON! Bilbao have scored at Old Trafford! Will we see yet another return of The United Yips? It’s 3-1 on aggregate there now and, to be clear, either of these English clubs getting knocked out of this competition tonight would be very funny.

8.40: There’s still not a lot going on in Norway. Bodø/Glimt have been dominating possession much more over the last ten minutes and Spurs already look a little bit frayed, as though they could be warming up to do something bad.

8.45: Berg had another shot, but this one was from the halfway line and didn’t trouble Vicario. Bodø/Glimt have grown into the game as the first half has progressed. It really does feel as though Spurs are missing James Maddison tonight. Their opponents are a little limited, but it does feel as though Spurs need more je ne sais quoi to open them up. Sam Matterface tells us that a Spurs vs Manchester United Europa League final would be “what everybody” wants to see. I somehow doubt that, Sam.

There will be one minute of stoppage-time.

8.46: Half-time: Bodø/Glimt 0-0 Spurs

A fairly uneventful first half, which suits Spurs better than their opponents. But Bodø/Glimt grew in confidence throughout the half this job is not done yet. At Old Trafford, it’s Manchester United 0-1 Athletic Bilbao, so both ties are now 3-1 on aggregate. Back in 15!

9.07: We're back, in Norway, and it's still goalless five minutes into the second half. Spurs started brightly but it's the home team applying the pressure now.

9.12: Of course, Spurs are now applying a little pressure of their own. The booing has started again, of course. Pedro Porro there, taking an amble over to take a corner, which he then more or less completely wastes. GLORY GLORY!

9.22: I was just about to say that there was nothing to say about this game in this half but then… GOAL!

Bodø/Glimt 0-1 Spurs: A corner from the left, Romero heads the ball back across, and Dominic Solanke stabs it in from close range! Spurs are 3-0 up on aggregate and… is that it? Can they Spurs it up from here? Twenty five minutes to play.

9.24: The only noise around the ground is really coming from the Spurs supporters. Spurs have done a decent job. There haven’t been any major disasters and they’ve managed things quite well. Bodø/Glimt’s limitations have started to show throughout the opening stages of this half. They again had a reasonable amount of pressure, had a couple of half-chances, but Spurs have their first choice defence out and they haven’t been majorly bothered. I haven’t even looked at what’s going on at Old Trafford.

9.26: It’s still 1-0 to Athletic Club.

9.28: AND ANOTHER ONE!

Bodø/Glimt 0-2 Spurs!

69th minute! Nice!

It’s 5-1 on aggregate, and it might have been a total fluke. Porro is fed the ball wide on the right, and he either shoots or crosses, and the ball sails over the goalkeeper and drops in at the far post!

9.32: Manchester United have levelled things up against Athletic Club with a goal from Mason Mount, of all people, so it looks like this clown car all-English Europa League final is going to pour scorn on the very concept of European club football after all.

9.37: 3-1 is the sort of score which has been really fucked up by the abandonment of away goals. In a way, I kind of miss away goals precisely because they were such an arbitary way of deciding a football match. But at the same, the very fact that I describe them like that tells its own story, essentially.

9.40: Bodø/Glimt are out of juice. They’ve smacked face first into the glass ceiling. I mean, I’ll need to write something about this somewhere, but the idea of Manchester United and Spurs playing a cup final in 2025 of all years, when they have both been wretched and dismal in the Premier League. And it’s definitely happening now, because Casemiro has scored and United lead 2-1.

9.45: Manchester United are winning 3-1 now, thanks to a goal from Rasmus Hojlund. I predicted United 2-0 in my preview of that one. I think I went for a draw in this match, though I should add that it’ll be a cold day in hell before I predict that shower of pricks to win a match. It would be entirely my fault if they subsequently lost.

9.50: Fair play to Bodø/Glimt, I think that needs to be said. It’s a hell of an achievement for a Norwegian club to get all the way to the semi-finals of the Europa League, especially one of this size, from a town of 40,000 people, so far away from anything else. 885km from Oslo! That’s such a long way!

9.52: Penalty to Bodø/Glimt for a foul on Sondre Sorli Pedro Porro!

Jesus, just give them the penalty!

VAR intervenes and the referee is called over to the screen and… no penalty.

(That right there was my stream of consciousness)

Full-time: Bodø/Glimt 0-2 Spurs

And so Spurs are through to the Europa League final against Manchester United in Bilbao and they really do deserve this.

Scoring in the first minute of the first leg rather set the tone for it all. They were controlled throughout and I’m willing to concede that we all overreacted a bit to the late goal that Bodø/Glimt scored towards of the end of the first leg. In the second leg Spurs were disciplined and had a far better shape. They do deserve their place in the final, but whatever on earth is going to happen in that? I guess we’ll find out.

Time for me to sign out now. Thanks for stopping by. Love you.

Accompanying image by tookapic from Pixabay.