The Manchester United crisis-o-meter is cranking up again.

Summer is turning to autumn, and this means that dark clouds are forming over Old Trafford, yet again.

Bananarama almost had it right. It is what you do, and it is the way that you do it. And this has been a not insignificant problem for Manchester United, in recent years. This is a team which over successive seasons, with brief interregna for brief spells of chest-swelling optimism, have not only consistently tripped over their own shoelaces, but have frequently done so in such a manner as to make you wonder why they bothered spending all that money on new players in the first place, if all they were going to do was break them.

Andre Onana. A goalkeeper reportedly signed because he’s good with his feet, but it isn’t clear whose, or in what way. Victor Lindelof. Reportedly a defender. Casemiro. Sent off for a second yellow card which also handed Galatasaray a penalty kick, which they missed. It was a lifeline United didn’t really deserve, and they could only hold onto it for three minutes before Mauro Icardi, who’d dragged the penalty wide, chased—and it may help to grab a glass of water here because if you didn’t see it, the following words may take a little digesting—a downward header from Davinson Sanchez between three static Manchester United defenders—told you—and lifted the ball over Onana, who’d gone down so early that he looked like he was practising a little yoga. Not now, Andre. That downward dog can wait.

It wasn’t the first time that they’d had shown themselves up in this way. Having taken the lead through a perky Rasmus Hojlund, who scored twice and was by some considerable margin the highlight of their evening, Wilfried Zaha backed his way into the United penalty area for a narrative-tastic equaliser. Diogo Dalot, who was supposed to be keeping Zaha from doing, well, exactly what he ended up doing, would appear to be made out of either ice cream or sponge.

Midway through the second half, Hojlund—who’d already had a second goal called back by The Great VAR Conspiracy (might as well lean into it)—scampered through from inside his own half following an on-point slip from Sanchez to give them the lead again. He was doing his bit. It looked, perhaps, as though this might even be the dawn of The Hojlund Era. The crown was being polished.

But no. United gonna United, and this time Baris Alper Yilmaz was awarded The Freedom of the Midfield to amble forward at which could be considered a gentleman’s pace before stopping, getting his protractor out and measuring an angle, checking the direction of the wind with his fingertip, and eventually sliding the ball across for Kerem Akturkoglu to draw them level at 2-2.

Then followed the penalty, which started with Onana generously passing the ball straight to Dries Meertens and which ended with Casemiro clattering into Meertens in a manner which called to mind Red Rum subbing for Christopher Dean at the 1984 Winter Olympics. There could be little complaining about the second yellow card, and it looked like they might even have gotten away with it when Icardi dragged his shot wide. The sigh of relief lasted for three minutes, before being replaced with that familiar sinking feeling.

This was the tenth competitive game that Manchester United have played this season. They have won four and lost six. Significantly, they have now lost both of their Champions League matches and all three of the matches they’ve played against the teams that they’d be expecting to be challenging for a place in the Champions or Europa Leagues with come the end of the season; Arsenal, Spurs and Brighton. Of their four wins, one came in the EFL Cup against Crystal Palace, and the other three in the Premier League.

Those three in the Premier League have hardly been inspiring, either, three one-goal wins against Wolves, Nottingham Forest and Burnley, the first two of which they were somewhat fortunate to win. Or to put it another way, the defeats haven’t been ‘off-days’. The wins have come when they’ve had just enough in the tank to get over the line against relatively modest opposition. At no point really, other than the EFL Cup match against Palace, have they looked much like a good team at all. They’ve had decent flashes. Bruno Fernandes, for all that he has a face like a smacked arse much of the time, remains a class act and Hojlund is one of the few definite rays of light for the future.

But the future is difficult to give too much thought to when the present, yet again, is starting to slide from view. With the nature of the modern game being what it is, it should come as no great surprise to learn that the heat is starting to build under Erik Ten Hag. This is certainly a familiar story. There remains a certain type of Manchester United supporter for whom the evidence of the last decade has been insufficient proof that they might not have some form of divine right to win practically every game they play, for whom United under Ferguson was the way football has always been and the way football always would be. 

At the weekend, Ten Hag was thrown a favour by the PGMOL. His team’s home defeat at the hands of Crystal Palace slipped under the radar a little as a result of the clown show at The Tottenham Hotspur Stadium an hour or so later, but is this all really something that can be laid at his door alone? Because we’ve all been here before, the new Manchester United manager greeted upon arrival as God Emperor, only for his clothes to slowly dissolve under the Manchester rain until he’s completely denuded, having become a figure of fun among those for whom only Ferguson v2.0 will suffice. 

But as always, the same old questions remain. Who do they get to replace him? What manager of the calibre that Manchester United demand would want to risk their reputation in this managerial graveyard? Zizou? Cthulhu? Perhaps what Manchester United need right now is a terrifying multi-tentacled space octopus to get some defensive discipline into their team. And regardless, although there was plenty of chaos at Old Trafford last night, there was also some good football. Hojlund is an obvious talent. A strong team could be built around his goals. But he’s also raw, and this is a team which has plenty of other shortcomings which require considerable attention. 

With the sale of the club now apparently back on ice, Manchester United are back where they’ve been so often before, this last few years. On Saturday afternoon, the team’s shortcomings were hidden by the blinding light and deafening noise coming from The Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Against Galatasaray, they had no such cover. The Old Trafford crisis-o-meter is cranking up yet again, and the volume will only increase unless something changes. But as always, it’s unlikely that much will change, and if it does there are few guarantees that it would be for the better.