Words & Pictures to Follow: Shoreham vs Crowborough Athletic

It's back to the south coast this weekend, for a return visit to an old friend.

I feel as though I’ve been neglecting the Southern Combination Football League, of late. It’s all been National League South this, Isthmian League that for me over the last couple of months, while the poor old SCFL has been left in the shadows. We were last down at this level in its Second Division in November, where Brighton Electricity looked like they might be finally turning a corner following years of abject defeat after abject defeat. Well, that kinda almost sorta happened. They’ve won three games this season and are one place off the bottom of the table. It’s not much, but it feels like progress.

But we’re not going to be at this level on this particular weekend. We’re going to be two divisions above at Shoreham FC, for their home Premier Division match against Crowborough Athletic. And when I say “we”, I mean “we”. Because this is a full house of a weekend, not only my girlfriend but also the kids, who are spending this time with us, will be with me this time around. With all this plus Valentine’s Day—my two kids requested me to get them three cards between them, so whether there’ll be some form of fight going on at the gates come three o’clock this afternoon does at least partially remain to be seen—it’s going to be a packed couple of days.

I always feel as though the first thing that I should say about Shoreham Football Club is that their nickname is The Musselmen. This feels important. Obviously this nickname is reference to mussel fishing, which was a not-insubstantial part of local industry, rather than any intended pun. It’s a thing, around here. For many years, Worthing FC’s nickname was The Rebels, but this seems to have recently changed to The Mackerel Men, another reference to the history of this particular area.

And the second thing that I feel that I should say is that Middle Road is one of my favourite venues to watch football. It’s a little rough around the edges, but it feels homely and protection from the elements is available, should the weather turn. Its original floodlights came from Plough Lane, fact fans, thought they were replaced with modern LEDs in 2019. It’s one of the local venues that I miss the most for being elsewhere these days, and I’m pleased to be returning.

I have a lengthy history with this place, too. It’s now a good fifteen years—at least—since I went to a match there with former podcast host Edward Carter when we spotted a bottle of sambuca, the sickly aniseed liquer, behind the bar. Upon asking for a shot each from the barman, he stood there looking at the bottle for a good thirty seconds before pouring us the remainder of the bottle—the best part of a quarter of a pint each—into two glasses and charging us about two quid each for it. There’s a reason it’s not sold this way. We did not, to the best of my recollection, complete those glasses.

On the pitch the team is struggling, and that’s nothing new. But it’s complicated. A decade ago, Shoreham were in this very division in this very league, although they weren’t. At the time, this was still the Sussex County League, and its top division was Division One. But at the end of that season came a great reorganisation. The Sussex County League was now the Southern Combination Football League, and its First Division was now its Premier Division.

They’d been in this division for eleven years when they were—unexpectedly, considering that over the previous six seasons they’d finished 17th, 16th, 14th, 17th, 18th and 18th—promoted into the Isthmian League as champions in 2017, although under strange circumstances, when Haywards Heath Town were deducted nine points over an ineligible player.

The appeals process meant that they didn’t know which division they’d be playing in until eight days before the start of the new season, and consequently their stay at this level was short and unhappy. They were relegated back after one season having picked up just eight points all season, including a six-point deduction of their own. Regardless of that deduction, they managed just four wins all season.

The fall proved to be vertiginous. The following season they were relegated again, this time into Division One of the SCFL, and by the time the pandemic curtailed football at this level for a couple of years, they weren’t doing too great there either, in 11th place in the table. But there has been a revival since football at this level returned. They finished 5th in 2022 but were beaten in the playoff final. The following year they were promoted as champions by six points. And last season they finished 15th in the Premier Division, comfortably clear of any relegation worries, but in no danger of troubling the top half of the table either.

This season hasn’t seen any improvement, really; if anything, their current position is more precarious than the last. There are two relegation places at the bottom of this twenty-team division this time around, and Shoreham are currently five points above Saltdean United, who are 19th. With twelve left to play, there’s plenty of scope for relegation to become a possibility and Shoreham need to, well, shore up their position. Last week they lost 4-2 at Saltdean, which was definitely not shoring up their position.

The likelihood is that any upswing won’t be happening this weekend. It looks like the title race in this division is cooked. Hassocks are 17 points clear at the top. But the chase for the playoffs is tight, with six teams chasing four places and only six points between them. Crowborough, who lost last year’s playoff final on penalties, are sandwiched right in the middle of that chasing pack, in fourth place. They can’t afford to drop points, especially not against a team as lowly in the table as Shoreham are. These are the very games they need to win.

But that’s all for another day. Tomorrow, to Shoreham, where there are Musselmen who need to be inspected. Words and pictures to follow, on Sunday.